Stay Sane During The Holidays

Ah, they are sneaking up on us - signs of imminent holidays.  Decorations are popping up both indoors and outdoors, there is faint hint of a jingle in the air, commercials are calling out, media programming reflects that 'tis the season, and stores are starting to buzz.  The holidays can fill us with excitement, anticipation, joy, and...stress.  There are parties to attend and/or throw, family get-togethers to get through, gifts to buy (if you're giving), homes and spaces to decorate, and work deadlines to meet.

For almost anyone, the holidays are accompanied by mixed feelings.  The season calls for celebration, companionship, and (for many) spiritual reflection.  Yet we also often find ourselves confronted by hastiness, feelings of running out of time, financial challenges, and navigating the minefield of family relationships and related politics.

How can we stay grounded in the next few weeks?  Here are some things to consider:

1.  Set healthy boundaries with yourself and others.  This means knowing when to say no.  It also means not letting yourself get pulled into toxic relationship dynamics, often rekindled at family get-togethers.  Pick and fight your own battles, and let others do the same.  Know when to step out and give yourself time to catch your breath.

2.  Practice self-care.  This means staying in tune with your stress level and practicing active stress-management.  Pay attention to your body - the holidays often pack on the pounds, so set your food goals early on.  This could mean limiting your intake of sweets (just one cookie for me, thanks) and avoiding going back for seconds.  Make time to exercise. Make time to relax with a cup of tea.

3.  Connect meaningfully.  Think about the relationships in your life which leave you filling energized instead of depleted.  In the holiday rush, we may lack time to make that phone call or have coffee with a friend.  Be mindful of your time to allow for meaningful conversations and connections.  Holidays can be a time of sadness and loneliness.  Seek support when needed.

4.  Take time to reflect.  Make sure to allow space for spirituality or meaning, whatever this means to you personally, during this season.

Happy Holidays!

If you are having trouble navigating the many stressors of the holiday season, support is essential.  Sometimes, talking to mental health professional can help. 

Gratitude - It's Good For You

It's that time of the year when things are getting busy.  Thanksgiving is about one month away, and before we know it, the holidays and new year will be upon us.  This is a hectic time.  It's easy to lose touch with self-care and we may take pause less often.  What better way to give ourselves a break, especially with Thanksgiving approaching, than by acknowledging what we're grateful for.  As it turns out, practicing regular gratitude helps boost our physical, social, and psychological well-being.  More important, being grateful appears to be one of the major keys to happiness.

What makes gratitude so transformative?  First, it brings us back to the present moment by teaching us to value something we have, as opposed to fretting about something we don't have.  It allows us to notice the positives in our lives more mindfully, and move away from taking things for granted.  Second, gratitude is a wonderful antidote to toxic, negative emotions.  Try feeling resentful or envious while also feeling grateful - it won't work.  Third, gratitude gives us perspective during negative life events or stressful times.  It helps us take a step back and re-evaluate.  And finally, by recognizing what has been given and provided to us by others, we can learn to see ourselves in a more positive light.

So how can we cultivate this important virtue of gratitude?  Here are three simple tips:

1.  Keep a gratitude journal.  Every night, jot down 3 things you are grateful for.  This is like counting your blessings consciously and mindfully.

2.  Accept lessons learned, even hard ones, with gratitude.

3.  Make "thank you" a daily part of your vocabulary.  Besides using it consciously with strangers (such as the bagger at the grocery store), also make it a point to sit down with a loved one and tell them why you appreciate them.  It will do you both good.

Gratitude is an important part of emotional health and can also be one of the many techniques learned in counseling or psychotherapy.  

To read more about the gratitude research that inspired this posting, visit Dr. Emmons' article at

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_gratitude_is_good/